Domestic violence - is there a risk of death

Domestic homicides, or murder by an intimate partner, represent 17% of all solved homicides in Canada and 47% of all family homicides.[1] In Ontario, there have been 230 domestic homicides between 2002 and 2007.[2] The Domestic Violence Death Review Committee (DVDRC) began in 2003 in response to recommendations from two major investigations into the murders of Arlene May and Gillian Hadley. The DVDRC assists the Office of the Chief Coroner with the investigation and review of deaths that involve domestic violence and to make recommendations to prevent deaths in similar circumstances.

Domestic homicides have been called the most predictable and preventable of all homicides. According to the DVDRC, most of the domestic homicides reviewed had at least seven well known risk factors.2 Appendix I outlines a complete list of the common risk factors in all the domestic homicide cases that have been reviewed. 2

The committee found that the most common reasons why domestic violence ended in death were:

• the victim was separated from the person who killed her, or she was getting ready to separate from him
• the couple had a history of domestic violence
• the level of violence had been increasing
• the abuser had shown signs of obsessive behaviour, including stalking the victim
• the person who killed their spouse was depressed
• in the past, the abuser had threatened to kill the victim

If you recognize one or more of these warning signs, be aware that the victim may be at risk of being murdered. Never assume that a victim is safe because she is planning to leave a violent relationship or has just left a violent relationship. Although leaving will increase her safety over the long term, the most dangerous time for her is just before she separates, while she is leaving and shortly after she separates. Safety planning is critical during this period.

A victim is also at risk if the abuser suspects that she wants to leave, even if the victim has given the abuser no indication that this is her plan. To find out more information or get support, please see neighboursfriendsandfamilies.ca. Help is available in many languages. Call the Assaulted Women’s Helpline at 1-866-863-0511/ TTY 1.866.863.7868 (toll free) or call your local women’s shelter.

When you have immediate concerns about safety, call the police.

Although many domestic homicides are predictable and preventable, many victims of woman abuse do not understand the potential risk posed by their intimate partner. Many times victims can be annoyed or fearful of their partner yet they still do not believe that he will kill them. A study conducted in 12 cities across the United States found that about half of women who were killed or almost killed by an intimate partner did not recognize their risk for death.[4] Some relationships may have many risk factors and others may have only a few, but it is important to pay attention to any potential risk.

Separation

The DVDRC found that in 81% of the reviewed cases of domestic homicide, the couple was either separated or in the process of separating. This shows that victims are most vulnerable and at risk for death when they have left or plan to leave the abuser. But why does leaving an abusive relationship put a victim at greater risk for being killed? The motive for post-separation violence, including death, has been grouped into three categories: 1) retaliation, 2) restoration, and 3) reconciliation. [5]

Power & Control: Retaliation, Restoration & Reconciliation

For men involved in the dynamics of power and control, they may engage in acts of retaliation against their partner if they feel resentful that she is moving on with a new relationship or as a way to hurt her for leaving. He may also try to restore the power that was taken away from him when she left the relationship. He may also use violence, coercion or threats to the safety of loved ones or pets to try and force reconciliation. See Appendix II for more complete descriptions of retaliation, restoration and reconciliation.

It seems like a ‘Catch 22’. You know you need to leave to protect yourself but by leaving you put yourself in greater risk of being killed. The answer is you need to LEAVE SAFELY!

Here are some guidelines on how to safely leave an abusive relationship:

Know your risk

It is really important that you understand the possible risks involved with a separation. And that you understand that there is always a risk for death even if you feel that your partner would never resort to murder. If you do not feel that you are at risk from your partner or if you know someone who doesn’t recognize their own risk, contact a local shelter or the police for help with a threat assessment. This is a process that will help you to see how much danger you might be in. Threat assessment tools help victims, social services, police, and other professionals figure out the level of risk for death when a woman abuse is experiencing abuse. The Danger Assessment is a tool that is often used. It was created by Dr. Jacqueline Campbell.[6] This tool includes 15 identified factors involved with victims of domestic violence and her risk for death. The tool is also used with a calendar to help abused women remember all of violent events they have experienced. A research study on the Danger Assessment tool found that a woman scoring an 8 or higher is at very serious risk of being killed and a score of 4 or higher shows a significant risk for being killed.6 It is best to have a professional conduct the assessment; but you can look at the risk factors and see how many you think you may have before you see a trained professional.

Don’t let on about your plan or intentions to leave your abuser

Women are at higher risk for death when they separate from their abusive partner. But women are also at higher risk if the abuser suspects that the victim wants to separate or if the victim tells him that she intends to separate. The DVDRC found that in 81% of the domestic homicide cases, there was an actual or pending separation between the couple. So it’s really important that victims do not tell the abuser about their plan to leave until after they have been able to separate safely. If the abuser has suspicions and continues to accuse the victim of planning to leave, an immediate safety plan needs to be put in place.

Build a support network

It is important that you do not make this huge decision on your own. You will need support from people you can trust. You will need to tell people about your plan and ask for help in keeping you and your children safe. Local shelters and counselling services are a good social support to talk about your situation and develop a plan for separating safely. If you do not have access to a shelter or counselling services, talk to your family doctor. If necessary, you can explain your situation to the police and ask them to be present when you move out.

During a separation, many women feel all kinds of emotions. It is important that you have a support network to help you understand and cope with these feelings.

Have a safety plan

It is really important to have a safety plan in place for times when your abusive partner gets violent and you need to escape from the situation. It is also important to have a safety plan for when you separate from your partner. This plan can help to make sure that you and your children are able to leave without the risk of more violence.

A safety plan for leaving an abusive relationship should include these factors:

• know the best time to leave – this should be when your partner will not be there;
• go to a place that is safe and secure (e.g., shelter, family);
• have all essential documents/medicines (passport, birth certificate) with you;
• tell others about your plan and make sure that they do not tell the abuser;
• talk to your children about the safety plan and make sure they do not tell the abuser;
• figure out an escape route from your new home in case the abuser finds you;
• tell your employer, co-workers, and human resources department about your situation so your workplace can put together their own safety plan;
• tell your children’s school about the situation and give them a picture of the abuser;
• change your phone numbers, computer passwords, and any other identifying pieces of information that the abuser may know or learn;
• inform the police about your situation;
• care for yourself and let others to help you during this difficult time.

To learn more about creating a safety plan, please see www.neighboursfriendsandfamilies.ca. Help is available in many languages. Call the Assaulted Women’s Helpline at 1-866-863-0511/ TTY 1.866.863.7868 (toll free) or call your local women’s shelter.

When you have immediate concerns about safety, call the police.

Create safety around the children

One of the main reasons for ongoing contact between separated or divorced couples is the children. Abusive men can attempt to regain power and control over their partner or ex-partner by using their children. They can pressure their children for information, use visitations as a way of seeing their partner or ex-partner, threaten or harm their children to get back at her and/or create custody challenges to cause further emotional and financial abuse.

If you have children when you separate from your partner, it is important that you obtain a lawyer that is knowledgeable about woman abuse and child custody and access. The lawyer should ask the Judge for a child custody/access agreement that makes sure visitations happen at a neutral meeting place with supervision provided by trained professionals at a certified visitation centre. If you can’t afford a lawyer, you may be able to have one provided for you. Call 1-800-668-8258 (toll-free), or visit www.legalaid.on.ca to find an office near you.

Getting a protection order (restraining order or peace bond)

If you fear for your safety or the safety of your children, you can get a protection order against the abuser. A protection order outlines certain conditions that the abuser must follow to keep you and your children safe, such as stating that your partner or ex-partner has no direct or indirect contact with you and/or your children. Usually your partner or ex-partner will be told to stay away from the place where you live or work, which includes no phone calls, letters, or messages through relatives or friends. There are two main types of protection orders: a) Restraining Order and b) Peace Bond.

What is a restraining order and peace bond?[7][8][9]

How to get a Restraining Order

Usually an application for a restraining order is given during a larger court proceeding in Family Court, like child custody or divorce proceedings; but you can apply for just a restraining order. The process of applying for a restraining order may take many months. This needs a formal submission and a hearing where evidence is shown and both people can present their side to the judge.

The Judge must believe that your fear is reasonable. S/he will ask for evidence that supports your request for a restraining order. Acceptable evidence would be: 1) a documented account of every time the person has stalked or threatened you; 2) hospital records, pictures, emails, text messages, phone messages; and 3) if this applies, any evidence of his hurting your children.

If you are in an extremely urgent and dangerous situation, you can receive an ex parte Restraining Order. The Judge can give the order right away once s/he is convinced that your fear is reasonable. This type of Restraining Order usually lasts between 24 hours to one week during which your partner or ex-partner will be contacted. You and your partner or ex-partner will have to appear in court to state your claim to the Judge. If the Judge believes that there are still serious safety concerns, the ex parte order can be replaced with a regular Restraining Order.

How to get a Peace Bond

You can get a Peace Bond by either calling your local police and telling them that you need a Peace Bond or going directly to a Justice of the Peace (JP) at the provincial court. If the JP feels that your concerns are valid, s/he will issue a summons for your partner or ex-partner to appear in court at a certain date. At this court date, you and your partner or ex-partner will make your claims to the JP. You should have evidence that shows your claims like; 1) a documented account of every time the person has stalked or threatened you; 2) hospital records, pictures, emails, text messages, phone messages; 3) if this applies, any evidence of his hurting your children; and 4) a documented account of every time your (ex)partner damaged or threatened to damage your property (take pictures, if possible). If the JP believes that your fear is reasonable, s/he will issue a Peace Bond that can last for one year.

Protection Orders can be difficult to enforce for a number of reasons:

Here are some strategies to help enforce these orders:

What can neighbours, friends, and family do to reduce risk?

When a woman separates from her abusive partner, what can we do to reduce the risk for domestic homicide?

Woman abuse is not just in the home but in our workplaces too. One study found that 70% of employed victims of woman abuse say their abusers have harassed them at work.[12] The 2007 report of the Domestic Violence Death Review Committee of Ontario showed that out of the 62 cases reviewed since 2003, 17% had co-workers aware of the abuse that was occurring. 10

Starting June 15, 2010, all employers in Ontario are responsible for protecting workers from domestic violence at work. New amendments to the Occupational Health & Safety Act say that if an employer is aware, or ought to be aware, that domestic violence is likely to expose a worker to physical injury in the workplace, the employer must take every reasonable precaution to protect the worker.

Attempts by abusers to interfere with employment 12
Abusive men can interfere with their partner or ex-partner’s employment before, during and after work. Research shows that they use a variety of tactics to do this. Below we list some possible ways an abuser can get in the way of a woman’s work.

Actions taken before work

• physically restraining her or keeping her captive,
• hiding or stealing her car keys or transportation money,
• hiding or stealing her workplace identification card, badge or uniform,
• physically assaulting her badly enough that she could not or did not want to go to work;
• preventing her from getting the children ready for school on time or failing to show up for childcare,
• not allowing her to sleep;
• neglecting to bring the car home;
• destroying her work clothes;
• stalking her at home by driving by her house or making constant phone calls
• Lying if the workplace calls to ask where the employee is. The abuser may claim that she is sick, out of town or looking after a sick child.

Actions taken during work

• showing up at work,
• threatening to hurt her at work,
• physically assaulting her while on the workplace property,
• making harassing phone calls or sending harassing emails to her work account,
• stalking her while at work (sitting outside the work premises, driving around watching her through windows; walking around her office),
• asking her to leave her job immediately,
• pestering co-workers with questions about the victim and her activities,
• verbally harassing her co-workers or supervisor,
• threatening or assaulting co-workers and/or supervisors,
• leaving threatening notes on her car,
• destroying things that belong to the victim or to the organization.

Actions taken after work

• physically assaulting her after work,
• confronting her in the parking lot,
• following her home.

Lori Dupont was a nurse at Hotel Dieu Hospital in Windsor, Ontario. She became involved with Marc Daniel, who was a doctor at the same hospital. The relationship seemed troubled almost from the start. Marc showed a pattern of possessive and controlling behaviour throughout the relationship including threats of suicide and actual suicide attempts. After Lori ended the relationship, Marc harassed, threatened, and stalked her at her home and at the hospital. Marc was told to take leave from work due to mental health concerns. Lori told a number of friends, family and co-workers about the abuse. She tried to get her employer to help and then turned to the justice system through an application for a Peace Bond. Marc was eventually allowed to return to work but was not to be on the same shift as Lori. It seemed that his behaviour did not change because he continued to harass and intimidate Lori. On November 12, 2005, Marc Daniel killed Lori Dupont while working the same shift at the hospital, just nine months after she told him that the relationship was over. Later that same day, Marc Daniel killed himself. 10 Sadly, there were many people who saw what was happening but didn’t know what to do. There were many opportunities for someone to help if they had known what to do. She might be alive today if the people she was in contact with had known how to help.

What can we do?
You don’t have to be an expert on woman abuse to help someone in your workplace. There are experts in every community and in many workplaces that can help. The first step is to recognize what is happening. The Neighbours, Friends and Families campaign and the Make It Our Business website have information to help you. Below are some suggestions to help you get started. Remember that caring enough to reach out and to ask how you can help is a very important first step.

Recognize the abuse
A woman who is being abused at home or at work may not automatically tell anyone about the abuse. So it is important that you are able to identify the signs of abuse and understand the risk for death.

Support the victim
Women who are experiencing abuse at work may feel embarrassed, ashamed, and fearful. They will need support and reassurance from their co-workers and employers. Talking to your co-worker, understanding her situation, and helping her create a safe environment at work will make all the difference in her life. Examples of informal help you can offer are: screening phone calls; arranging a co-worker escort; providing rides to and from work; covering shifts for when she needs to see a lawyer, doctor, police, counsellor etc.; and setting aside time to talk with her about her situation.

Know your workplace violence prevention policy
Employers must have a workplace policy that outlines their approach to preventing incidents of violence and the duties and responsibilities of management. You should know where to find this policy and who to go to when something happens.

Inform your employer
If you know about a co-worker who is being abused at the workplace, let your employer know about it. Tell your coworkers that your employer needs to know to ensure her safety and the safety of the whole workplace. Tell her that everything will be handled in a confidential and sensitive manner. In these cases, confidentiality does not always mean that no information will be shared. It does mean that information will be shared on a ‘need to know’ basis only.

Attend training sessions
The Neighbours, Friends and Families campaign can provide training to businesses on woman abuse in the workplace. By attending these training sessions for your workplace, you will get information and the tools you need to recognize abuse and take the right action. E-mail or call to inquire about training at info@neighboursfriendsandfamilies.on.ca or 519-661-2111 Ext: 87486.

Call the police
If the physical safety of your co-worker is threatened at any time, you need to call the police. This action may upset the abuser so a safety plan needs to be put in place immediately.

Assaulted Women’s Helpline, 1-866-863-0511 (toll free), Help is available in many languages.
www.awhl.org
Survivor’s guide, violence against women statistics, prevention & awareness information

Find a Shelter in Canada with the Victim Services Directory
http://services.findhelp.ca/ovss/
Shelter locations and other services

Victim Support Line: 1-888-579-2888
For support for victims of domestic violence and for information on a partner assault response program for abusive men in your area 

Danger Assessment Website
http://www.dangerassessment.org/
Find out about your risk factors and level of danger

Women Abuse Council of Toronto
http://www.womanabuse.ca/
Resources, fact sheets & domestic violence news

Ministry of the Attorney General
Partner Assault Response Programs
http://www.attorneygeneral.jus.gov.on.ca/english/ovss/programs.asp#partner
General information. For specific information on a program near you call the Victim Support Line at 1-888-579-2888 (toll free)

John Howard Society of Ontario
http://www.johnhoward.on.ca/
Information on criminal justice issues, links with programs for clients and their families, counselling, and housing and employment support

Ministry of Community Safety and Correctional Services Ontario
Domestic Violence Death Review, inquest & coroner’s reports, briefings, standards and policy statements on domestic violence

Futures Without Violence
http://www.futureswithoutviolence.org/
Information on global campaigns & programs to make violence prevention sustainable

Ontario Women’s Directorate
A list of services and supports for women experiencing violence

The Centre for Research and Education on Violence against Women and Children
http://www.learningtoendabuse.ca/

Research on domestic violence, Domestic Violence Death Review Committee & inquest reports

Review of domestic violence related deaths with recommendations, awareness & education, assessment & intervention and resourcesNational Domestic Violence Fatality Review Initiative (NDVFRI)
Funded by the Office on Violence Against Women United States Department of Justice

International reports, publications, protocols, key questions

Table 1 – Common Risk Factors for Domestic Violence Deaths (Source: DVDRC, 2008)

Retaliation
For some men, the idea of his partner leaving him is the ultimate betrayal. They feel that they are entitled to their relationship and that they have ‘ownership’ over their partner. These men will feel abandoned and deceived which may make them feel extremely angry and resentful. They might feel they have a right to get back at her. These feelings can increase if the man thinks that his partner has started a new romantic relationship.

Restoration
Domestic violence is about power and control. The abuser wants to maintain power and control over his victim. When the victim leaves the abusive relationship, she is using her own power and taking away the abuser’s control over her. During the separation or post-separation, the abuser will find ways of getting back that power and control. He may become more violent to the point of killing her so he can take charge again. If the couple have children, the abuser may use custody challenges to use power over his ex-partner. He can force a meeting through access of the children or he can cause emotional and financial trauma through custody disputes. Other ways that the abuser can restore power and control are by using threats of suicide or murder to scare the victim into returning.

Reconciliation
Some men use violence as a way to try to force reconciliation. One way they can do this is by sabotaging a women’s ability to work so that she will have financial needs that can lead to getting back together. The abusive man can damage a women’s ability to work by: stalking her at her workplace; physically restraining her from going to work; not allowing her to use the vehicle; threatening her, her co-workers, or her employers; and/or physically abusing her before, during, and/or after work. Another way of using violence to force reconciliation is by threatening the victim, her children, and/or her family. The victim will be forced to get back together with the abuser to keep her loved ones safe.

[1] Ogrodnick, L. (2008). Family Violence in Canada: A Statistical Profile 2008. Ottawa: Statistics Canada

[2] Ontario Domestic Violence Death Review Committee. (2008). Annual report to the Chief Coroner. Toronto, ON: Office of the Chief Coroner.

[3] De Becker, G. (1997). The Gift of fear: And other survival signals that protect us from violence. New York (NY): Dell.

[4] Campbell, J.C. (2004). Helping women understand their risk in situations of intimate partner violence. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 19, 1464-1477.

[5] Brownridge, D. (2006). Violence against women post-separation. Aggression and Violent Behavior, 11, 514-530.

[6]Campbell, J.C., Webster, D., Koziol-McLain, J., Block, C.R., Campbell, D., Curry, M.A., Gary, F., McFarlane, J., Sachs, C., Sharps, P., Ulrich, Y., and Wilt, S.A. (2003). Assessing risk factors for intimate partner homicide. National Institute of Justice Journal, 250, 14-19. Retrieved September 24, 2009 from: http://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/jr000250e.pdf.

[7] Restraining Orders and Peace Bonds. (2008). Niagara Community Information Database: Record Details. Retrieved September 24, 2009

[8] Ministry of Public Safety and Solicitor General, Victim Services and Crime Prevention Division. (2013). For your protection: Peace bonds and family protection orders. British Columbia; CANADA. 

[9] Sexual Assault Support Centre of Waterloo Region. (n.d.) Restraining orders, peace bonds, and terms of release. 

[10] Ontario Domestic Violence Death Review Committee. (2007). Annual report to the Chief Coroner. Toronto, ON: Office of the Chief Coroner.

[11] Campbell, M., Neil, J., Jaffe, P.G., and Kelly, T. (2009). Engaging Abusive Men in Seeking Community Intervention: A Critical Research & Practice Priority. Manuscript submitted for publication.

[12] Swanberg, J.E., & Logan, T.K. (2005). Domestic violence and employment: A qualitative study. Journal of Occupational Health Psychology, 10(1), 3-17.